A reminder

It is almost 2 years from my accident, and it has been an amazing 2 years. With a heart of thanksgiving I say that everyday has been a gift. It can be loaded with work, filled with bad circumstances, but I dare say to be alive it's a blessing. And many people will beg to differ. Don't shortchange yourselves! With all humility, I tell you that you definitely do not know fully what life is when you say otherwise.

Today I had an amazing encounter. I think I'm pretty slow at seeing the whole picture most of the time, maybe it took me 2 years just to realise that there was a mistake in how I viewed things since my accident. I always felt, since my accident that I deserved the injuries that has been with me ever since - mainly my loose right knee which causes me a fair amount of discomfort. My doctor has told me to go for surgery ever since after my post-accident checkups and I simply refuse; mainly due to the fear of going back into the operation room and having to go through another healing process. So I always told myself that I have 2 choices. Either I live with a loose knee all my life or I go for that dreaded surgery. I guess till 1 week ago, my choice was still for the former.

But today... It was different. I was just having a normal day, trying to complete my assignments and getting things done in school when Daryl beeped me to join him for a seminar at PLMC in the evening. Initially, the first thoughts that was running through my head was the number of assignments that I had to complete. Then, I told myself that he has been asking me to join him for these seminars for a couple of times over and maybe this time round i should make the effort to clear the evening and drop by to take a look and maybe pick up a few pointers there. Oh, how short-sighted I was.

I went there, expecting to have some sort of a bible study session as they were mostly bible college students. Had a pretty decent time of worship (kinda distracted cos i went in prety late) and then sermon. Sermon started out like any typical American preacher, with jokes and questions to get 'amen' responses from the congregation. Then I realised he was touching on healing. 'Oh gosh', I said in my mind, 'so much for an intense word-based bible study'. I heard his words clearly, with my cynical logical brain doing lots of analysis on the claims he was making - making sure that I don't fall into the trap of the whole 'wealth sermon'. You see, days ago, my mum was telling me about how she was watching this video during cell group telling them about prosperity where healing and wealth will come your way and stuff like that. And she asked me how are we to relate to such a sermon when there was so much suffering around? She said obviously that is not true for everyone. Not every faithful follower of Christ that opens a business will succeed and become prosperous in terms of wealth isn't it? I do not know how to answer those question, up till now. But I was sure of what God spoke to me clearly through His Word tonight.

The preacher continued to refer to verses on healing like John 5:1-15. From this verse, it jumped up at me that the man Jesus healed DID NOT KNOW WHO HE WAS! This is absolutely radical to me. People and even certain preachers have told me that I've to be a believer of Christ to receive healing; come on, this wasn't just a cure of cough (I'm not downplaying other sicknesses, more of the extent of God's healing!), he was crippled (the word used was invalid[NIV]) for a long time but was healed instantly! It was unbelieveable! Still is... But it showed how my eyes were opened to things that previously was not made known to me.

Then the preacher went on to talk about how in Luke 8:42b-48 about the woman with the blood flow problem. She didn't see the miracles itself but only heard from people around her, yet in her desparateness she clung on to that belief that cured her instantly! I always looked at this story and think at the back of my head that this lady was just lucky. She bet on the right thing that's all. That may be true, but that's the reason why in situations like this, many people discover who God is or what He can do. When someone is desparate for help, they have this thing that drives them through all the trouble and pain to reach for that one thing. She chose the right thing! And I'm now happy for her that she did. It could've been drugs, alcohol or anger in this age to try numbing that sickness or failure that someone has. But who needs that anyway when there is a permanent cure? Through that lady's perseverance something beautiful happened.

Through these 2 examples, it revealed to me how God truly wants everyone to receive that healing! For me, it's my knee. I don't want to live with it anymore. I don't need to wish that I could once again run - which i truly love. God did not make me to fear or tell people how my knee is going to one day deteoriate into arthiritis. He is going to make me well. I'm convicted, running a risk of being delusioned, but I think it's worth it. It's worth everything I have to trust in Him. What God showed me today was how this is to be extended not just to trust Him for that physical healing, but in all aspects of my life - my attitude in making decisions. Truly, He is the cornerstone. Unshakeable! It's going to be hard for me to continually keep my faith going, but I'm absolutely sure that's part of the journey that is ahead for me.